Take me with you!

UGH! I feel so trapped lately. School is about to start again and I have a lot of people that I actually CARE about in my life that are leaving to go to college. It really does suck. Not for the fact that I'm going to die without them, not the fact that they're leaving for a time, it's the fact that I feel left behind!

I mean, do you really think that I want to stay here and do 3 more years of High School? Um, no! I would much rather be going off to college and starting a new life. New friends, new school, new outlook ... it sounds perfect to me!

I feel like High School doesn't have much to offer me. I know that you learn a lot of valuable lessons and you build great relationships with people, but I feel like I'm done. I'm ahead of everybody and I just want to get out. I want to start a job and do something that I love. I want to be successful and, plainly, get out of here.

This is all not to say that I don't love the people that surround me. I know that when I graduate that I will be crying my eyes out at the thought of possibly never seeing some people again. But, I know that that time must come, and I want it NOW. I have no idea why I suddenly feel thisw way, I just want something different.

I mean, the new school year is about to start, and the only thing I hear is "Oh my gosh, Sophomore year is so hard!" ... "You're going to die!" ... "WHAT?! You're taking Pre-Ap classes??!! Good luck .." I just don't get it! I don't want to be here and go to school with the same people that get on my nerves, have lessons that are going to "kill" me, and stress out this year!

And, of course, there is the fact that I just want to be on me own. I'm tired of letting people run my life for me. I want to make my own decisions, mistakes, and successes. And, if you were living my life, you might understand why. It's just that, I'm 15 and already have so much responsibilty. I want that responsibility but it makes me feel like I can do things earlier. I mean, I know what it's like to have a job, to do well in school, to resist most temptation, and to handle my emotions so much more than the majority.

People always tell me that I act wise beyond my years, and I feel like I do. I feel like I could handle myself on my own. I also know that I can't. It's just that longing feeling to want to be out there and experiencing life in a different light.

And all this just to say .. I'm restless and I want to be someone. But, there's still 3 years ... blah, blah, blah...